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So lately iv'e kinda gone into hiding or maybe hibernation is a better word? I didnt have to work today or yesterday so i have basically spent the last couples days in my room or living room because to be honest, i dont feel like dealing with anyone right now. Its nothing personal against friends or anyone, but i just needed some serious alone time. Lately i feel like everyones been fighting and that I am just always put in the middle or always the one being bitched at because im the only one that will stick up for everyone else in the group. I havent had my phone on for the past two days and when i turned it on today i saw that i had a bunch of missed calls and voicemails. One of them being J saying that she was going to show up and kick my door down if i didnt tell her what was up. I figured id text everyone and just let them know i was ok i just needed a little time alone. I spent today scrapbooking and reading. When my mom got home she told me that i had a balloon tied to my car. Obviously curious i went outside to see what was up. There was a big yellow smiley face balloon tied to my car. All i could do was smile. So i walked over to it and tied to it was a bag of rock candy and a note. Rock candy wtf?? But then i read the note which said " Nono, my rock, my wall, my best friend. Smile girlie, the 6 of us girls are friends no matter what or how far apart we are <3 Love you, Baby J. I didnt really know what to do.... so i started  crying hahaha. I did definitly need a break from everything but its nice to know that i have friends that really care. That was honestly the nicest thing anyones ever done for me. I love you girls. Now on another note.... spending so long away from my friends is making me want to call M. He is alwyas there for me when i need a little space away from my friends, but the past couple nights i really have tried not to call him because thats suchhh a safety net and i need to get out of that pattern before college. so i cant call, i wont!
Current Mood:
loved loved
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Wow good thing this awful burn isnt eating half my leg up. Like literally eating my leg. Right in time for my grad party too..... why am i so awesome???
Current Mood:
exhausted exhausted
Current Music:
love in this club/ usher
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It would have been 3 years. 3 years in a row. Should i have done it? All i keep doing is asking that question. At the time i thought i would feel so much better if i didnt. After last night all i can think about is saying something next time he calls. Gahhhhh i dont know what to do
Current Mood:
curious curious
Current Music:
that gay song from bio-dome
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You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in fields of gold

So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in fields of gold

See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold

I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We'll walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold
Current Music:
sting. fields of gold
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Now as the summer fades I let you slip away
You say im not your type but i can make you sway
It makes you burn to learn your not the only one
I'd let you be if you put down your blazing gun
Current Music:
Maroon 5
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Now nothing seems as strange as when the leaves began to change
Or how we thought those days would never end

Current Mood:
nostalgic nostalgic
Current Music:
alll summer long... kid rock
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You know that I will easily forgive if you just tell the truth. You know i'm a pretty understanding person when it comes to most things. You know that i've let you get away with a ton of crap before this. You know that the thing i hate the most is lying. If you are lying to me about tonight, or any of this, I will find out, and it will be the end.
Current Mood:
anxious anxious
Current Music:
play with fire/ hilary dufffff
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&nbsp;soo today started by a bunch of us going to the beach. Me kas and m all drove down togetherrr. Teth a j and a all drove down in a's car.. and almost died. then f and a.vali drove down in his car. They are so cute together the whole time at the beach he was so nice to her. Me and m swam like all day and i kinda got rid of my CC sunburn but i got a bathing suit one so no good. afterwards i chilled at home for like 2 or 3 hours and then kas k and m came over and then some of the c boys came over after that. we hung around for a little bit and some of them left to go see a movie i think but ch and mg stayed and we just hung around and actually had a legit amount of fun.  then we met up with mr and cr whjo ried to get a to buy a 30 rack for them hahah and we stopped at BK to pick up some food. Nothing else too exciting happened. EXCEPT ok like honestly if you know me at all you would know one thing. IM IN LOVE WITH TRAVIS BARKER. like if i could marry one person it would be him. Meet one person dead or alive, it would be him. so anyways he is married to this lady named Shana Moakler who just happens to be from around here whose parents just happen to be member at the CC where i work (Dr. Moakler and his fam.), who just happen to bring their grandkids (aka travis barkers kids) to the CC in the summer AND I GOT TO MEET THEM. it was the coolest thing of my life. I pushed his stepdaughter on the swing and legit like talked to her. Prob one of the best days of my life. Well im off to lunch with J. have a good day!!!
Current Mood:
giddy giddy
Current Music:
what hurts the most/ cascada
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well not really forever.. but lots has happened the past couple days. So on Sat. night we went to miss mass. We were all really late because we had to go to this kid j's party after in fall river and miss mass was in fall river so we wanted to all meet up and go together. So when we finally get to miss mass we have already missed them announcing that m made top 10! we were so proud of her.  So after that j gets a call from a who needs us to come back home and get him. So after the LONG ride home we pick him up and go to pq's party for a little while and then decide to go to j's except j puts into her gps new bedford instead of fall river so needless to say we were really late. It was a fun party though cc was hilarious the whole night, rp kept trying to get me to kiss him haha good times. me and rf are like biffls again... ya knoww : ) .so just when everyones nice and drunk its 3 in the morning and i have to be up for work at 6 so i legit drag everyone out. j ends up throwing up in the backseat of my mums car... thank god cc helped her out. we went to dunkins and stopped by pq's again where k refused to leave so we just left her. By the time i got everyone back to my house, in bed, and cleaned up my mom's car it was 5... so i called out of work. Then that night me and k went to rf's grad party only to find that everyone was peacing (with no where to go) so me k rp mw daveee and kb all went back to my house and chilled. It was fun rp was spittin some mad game to k and i think she was going for it. M was mean to me like all night as usual then when he leaves is all over me and such.. hmmm there's a shock. The next night me and m k and rp and j and a all went to j's house and watched the mist which sucks by the way! so we ended up watching the sentinel or something but then we had to leave j's. Me and m got into a like mini bitch fight on the way home but now we are good. I kinda layed down the law in a nice way and he didnt seem to mind ; ). Today i worked 2-8 and then went to c.h.'s house with the C guys and the girlss it was a good time. i kinda invited them over my house for tommorow night but idk how thats gonna play out cause us girls and the T guys are going to the beach tommorow. Laterr babycakes <3
Current Mood:
groggy groggy
Current Music:
sent from heaven. keyshia cole
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I just watched the best movie EVER on on-demand. It was called "The Very Though of You" and it was prob. the best love story ever... so good. The legit plot was good too, like it really made you think. But yeah im sitting home watching movies cause i'm sick... food poisoning maybe?? that or some throat thing cause my throat and sinuses are buggin. The past couple days have been fun. Yesterday me and kas and k went to the beach. We ended up meeting up with j,a,t,s,f,ash and m but we wanted to go earlier then them because we had to leave for work. So we got there at like 9:30 and they got there at like 11. We had to leave at 12:30 so we were happy we got a few hours there. After that i worked at dunks 3-10 it was fun i got to know a.p. alot more, he seems like a nice kid. Then everyone from the beach went over to j's house minus k. We watched the movie the bio-dome which was just like a stupid comedy. After that we all went our seperate ways but f came up to me and apologized for s bringing up the new years thing at the beach, which i was happy about because i hate when things are weird like that. I went home feeling like death and ever since then i've been sick. I worked 2-8 at the cc today and i have to be back there for 10 tom. then miss mass!! talk to ya laterrr
Current Mood:
sick sick
Current Music:
realize/ colbie caillet
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You know you go to UMass when, someone makes fun of you for being a MINUTEMAN and your response is....YA BUT IT IS THE BEST SIXTY SECONDS OF YOUR LIFE.....BC SUCKS!!!... this just made my life <3
Current Mood:
excited excited
Current Music:
give me the buisnessss/ young burg or somethin
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Today i woke up, went to the gym with ash and then went home and swam in my pool for a little and got ready for work. Then got called about 10 minutes before i was supposed to leave and told that i didnt have to go in because they had closed the pool. Soo me ,j,k,a,l, and kas all went and got ice cream and then went back to my house to chill.  A called and asked if we wanted to go to some kid jareds party with him s and m but we kinda just felt like chillin. Good night overall, bachin it tom. leaving early with kas and k and then meeting a, j, t, s, ab, and m at the beachhh then work 3-10... get at me playaaa : )
Current Mood:
sleepy sleepy
Current Music:
neyo/ closer
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since i last posted... guessed i missed the whole thing. Today was semi-eventful. I woke up and got a ton of stuff done, laundry, dishes, cleaning my room (kinda). Then i had about a billion errands to do which led me to new sneakers and a pretty sad bank account balance. Went to the bubs to visit my girls k and a and found out some pretty disturbing news about m and h... which was only denied later in the night by another source.. hmmmm. Hung out with some cool kids and me j a and m all went to get ice cream then headed back to my house where we met up with k and a. Fun times fun times. But that was pretty much it. Glad that the summer's back in full swing yah know? 

you can’t be close enough unless im feeling your heart beat -  Hello Goodbye

Current Mood:
contemplative contemplative
Current Music:
I'll stand by you. carrie underwood
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okjflkfdndgvmnkhnghbgs.... it just had to be with her didn't it? Don't feel like you've humiliated me enough ALREADY. go find someone else to friggen lean on you douche bag lying son of a bitch. And i'm done
Current Mood:
blank blank
Current Music:
accidently in lovee
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Current Mood:
drained drained
Current Music:
almost doesnt count/ brandy
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I know that they say
That somethings are better left unsaid
It wasn't like you only talked to him and you know it
Don't act like you don't know it
All of these things people told me
Keep messing with my head

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
To cry, cry me a river
Current Mood:
relieved relieved
Current Music:
cry me a river/ justin timberlake
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Deliberate cruelty is unforgivable
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the biggest mistake you can make
is to drift apart from someone who
you once had the time of your life with

----- lets stay friends.. k?

Current Mood:
groggy groggy
Current Music:
dust in the wind
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So tonight was the last night of summer vaca... it was pretty bomb. Headed to chili's with manda ash and kelsie. The went to cris burbanks house and a few other people were there. Kirstee.. yeah idk if i spelt that right.. umm ryan paige, kyle laird, zach engstrom, amanda jacinto.. it was reallly random haha. and chris has the cutest new puppy ever. I loved it. Wicked busy day again tommorow so good nightttt
<3 meee
Current Mood:
exhausted exhausted
Current Music:
crank that/ soulja boy
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I miss the old him. The one who would show up at my house with coolata's just because. The one who would play phase 10 with me for hours. The one who drove his mom's big SUV. The one who would ask my opinion on what he was wearing, because he always wanted me to think he looked good. Why do people have to change, and not just that, but change so fast. I didnt even have the time to say what i needed to say. I miss the good times.
Current Mood:
confused confused
Current Music:
Ay bay bay
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